Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve lost touch with a part of yourself? It happens gradually, imperceptibly. It’s that time of year when small talk mostly consists of commenting on how dark and cold it is. For me this season means more candles, more slow evenings, more rest (when I can).
I’ve always been a thinker, a ponderer, and this slowing down suits me just fine. I’ve been thinking a lot about rituals, all the different things that entails. It was a topic discussed on ‘Witch’. (A podcast I very much recommend it if you’re interested in history, anthropology, women or magic.) The concept of rituals is discussed with Dr Dimitris Xygalatas, an anthropologist who has written a book on the subject. It fascinates me these small habits that people do, something so human about it. From grand traditions to small whisperings of luck.
A tradition of my own is to write two lists at the end of the year, one for things I have achieved or completed that year, mini milestones (as small as you like) or new places. I remember the year I bought my first piece of furniture, a small bookcase from a secondhand marketplace. The first time I visited a town or got a new job or did something out of my comfort zone - like the first time I cut my hair to my chin after having it long all my life.
2023 seems to have gone by in a flash, as all years do. But taking the time to reflect allows me to see all the small miracles that happened within the flash.
The second list I write is things I wish to ‘achieve’ (it’s not quite the right word- things I want to do, achieve, pursue, commit to). I suppose it’s simply putting on paper what my intentions are for the coming year. And things that aren’t ‘completed’ are not failures, just a shift of my priorities. I enjoy looking back and seeing how I intended the year to go, I laugh at what I thought I wanted and rejoice in the changes.
It’s easy to forget my ponderings when days happens fast and daily routines become monotonous out of necessity. For me being busy means I lose a part of myself. There are certain things I do, rituals, if you like, that nourish my soul - in a way I can’t quite describe, but I know other creatives will feel the same. There are things I innately need for fulfilment and unfortunately a certain amount of time is needed to access them. I say unfortunately because we all know by now that time is the biggest luxury.
It’s been useful for me to divide up things I need, and things I enjoy, because sometimes people conflate the two. Being in nature, for me, is not a ‘hobby’ or a pastime. It’s something I need in order to feel like myself, to feel connected to the world, and to feel a baseline level of contentment. Without it I feel like a piece of me is missing.
Needless to say my list for 2024 (it feels strange to write it) will be quite lengthly. Lots of change is coming and I’m ready to welcome it.
Do you have any end of year rituals? Ways to see the new year in or ways to reflect?
I so enjoyed reading this. I create lists looking back and forward but focus on work (art). This is a good reminder to focus on small life moments too as that’s what it’s really all about isn’t it?
I do Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year each winter. 💫